What makes a poet

"So, what do you do?"- who in Hong Kong does not dread this question.

In this post I want to write a bit about the other aspect of my writing, which I’ve touched upon but rarely elaborated about.

POETRY. 

It’s a hell of a loaded term, isn’t it? What is poetry? What is a poet? What do writer?

By the time I was in my early 20's I'd finished less than five short stories. I'd started a whole bunch though- started a lot of novels as well. 

I thought maybe when I finished some stories I'd be 'a writer'. So I wrote a dozen or so with a simple rule in mind: You Gotta Finish Them. But see then I thought- I'd have to finish a novel to be a real writer. Short stories, pshaw, anyone can do that. Novels take dedication and skill and stamina!

I spent about three years, on and off, writing 'The Sixth' and eventually finished it! BOOM!

But then like, LOADS of people have written novels. People who aren't even published! People whose books almost nobody has read! 

So I'll be a writer when I get PUBLISHED. 

Or if I get PAID.

And then the poetry started. 

Oh God. Poetry isn't real writing. It's the cheapest-most-least-skillful-paid-nothing-unseen writing EVER.

Then eventually the poetry got published in one or two places- but they were journals right! They didn't have a HUGE readership right? I read a poem on the radio to 50 000 people. But I didn't get money for it! And the radio host was a friend of a friend so it's just nepotism right? I didn't EARN it. Then I got paid for poetry a few times. Wasn't much, sure- but hell, does that now mean I'm a poet, or more like, (hopefully) a writer? Three first drafts of novels- but they were first drafts!

The goal post's been moving for a decade. Is a million words enough? Hundreds if not thousands of hours? Other people have called me a writer. I've got offers for work as a writer- kind of. A few TINY commissions, a few SMALL articles here and there...

I'm a writer when it's my day job! I'm a writer when I get a salary or a title or something. Some kind of qualification from some kind of noteworthy qualifier. Penguin, maybe. A real publishing house. Big old bookstore shelves (Amazon won't count!)

I'm guessing a load of people who read this post will identify a lot with this whole conundrum. What makes a writer?

Or what makes a poet?

I'm going to focus on poetry because frankly I still don't feel like I'm being honest when I say 'writer' in place my day job, and maybe I won't be till I do get some kind of paycheck or advance or plaudit or what have you. Or maybe when l find the balls to admit it.

Instead- "poet".

I don't think I've ever not cringed a little when someone says I'm a poet. I even tried once, just once, to answer 'so what do you do' with "I'm a Poet." Just to try it out.

She said, "Oh".

I never wanted to be a poet, I wanted to be a novelist. A writer. A serious writer.

An (actual?) poet addressed this idea In her Nobel prize lecture- Wislawa Szymborska, whose name is SO fun to say out loud. 

Try it out- I had to Google the pronunciation but its worth it. 

She explains exactly how I feel:

Contemporary poets are skeptical and suspicious even, or perhaps especially, about themselves. They publicly confess to being poets only reluctantly, as if they were a little ashamed of it. But in our clamorous times it’s much easier to acknowledge your faults, at least if they’re attractively packaged, than to recognize your own merits, since these are hidden deeper and you never quite believe in them yourself … When filling in questionnaires or chatting with strangers, that is, when they can’t avoid revealing their profession, poets prefer to use the general term “writer” or replace “poet” with the name of whatever job they do in addition to writing. Bureaucrats and bus passengers respond with a touch of incredulity and alarm when they find out that they’re dealing with a poet. I suppose philosophers may meet with a similar reaction. Still, they’re in a better position, since as often as not they can embellish their calling with some kind of scholarly title. Professor of philosophy – now that sounds much more respectable.

But there are no professors of poetry. This would mean, after all, that poetry is an occupation requiring specialized study, regular examinations, theoretical articles with bibliographies and footnotes attached, and finally, ceremoniously conferred diplomas. And this would mean, in turn, that it’s not enough to cover pages with even the most exquisite poems in order to become a poet. The crucial element is some slip of paper bearing an official stamp. Let us recall that the pride of Russian poetry, the future Nobel Laureate Joseph Brodsky was once sentenced to internal exile precisely on such grounds. They called him “a parasite,” because he lacked official certification granting him the right to be a poet …

And what the fuck even is a poet?

Who we study in school right? Published poets that you take exams for- yeah. Who decides? An exam board...a review in some magazine or journal or newspaper.

There's a a vague picture in my brain. A picture that I think other people have. It's of London or New York. It's of bookshelves and fan mail and signings. It's of buying a typewriter with your advance. It's a fucking construct. And it's so hard to actually get to (if it even exists) that it reduces every other endeavor to the point that often it's the devil on your shoulder laughing at your so-called 'progress'

Along the way I've ended up doing all the poetry stuff, never planned on it. And dammit I'm pretty sure I'm a better poet than a novelist.

Oh crap. I admitted it didn't I...I'm a poet. But...

But I can't (or more precisely won't) write a sonnet. I don't have a book of poetry out, (though I'm working on that), and I definitely haven't signed anything.

But on just the right day with just the right motivation I'll write the shit out of a poem. And It'll be poem enough that I'll perform it and some people will feel...something. 

When are you a poet? What is a poet? Where do you have to have performed, who had to have published you, what quality of whatever did you have to...when are you finally a poet? Whether you like it or not.

Labels, eh. They may be bullshit, but knowing that doesn't always destroy the power they hold over us. Without getting sociological or psychological or semantic about it...

Sometimes I think you're a poet if you've written a poem.

Sometimes I think being a poet is nothing like being a writer, or an athlete or a professor. I am also perfectly aware that people will vehemently disagree with the idea that any poem equals a poet.

There's all sorts of essays about the 'duty' of a poet or what have you. Or what constitutes craft or skill or talent. The essays are often rather long. A bit like this post.

Poets are pretentious laughing stocks who like to big up their own words.

Poets are people who are brave enough to tackle and dig and grope at what it means to be human.

Poets are wastrels who could be doing something more constructive with their time.

Poets sweat and slave and bleed to create their work.

Most poets aren't actually poets and there are very few real poets left.

Poets are artists.

Poets talk to much about themselves. 
Almost no one likes poetry.

Poets are rare.

Poets try to tell the truth, criticizing the status quo. Being political. Starting shit.

Poetry is irrelevant.

Poets are angsty edgelords.
Poetry is mostly incomprehensible, confusing, self-indulgent and often annoying.

Poetry is a gut shot.

Poets are and always have been and always will be.

Poets are human. 

Humans are poets.

Poetry is freedom incarnate.

A blank page.

Canvas.

For me, poetry is freedom.

It's no rules. No rules. NO FUCKING RULES. I don't give a flying fuck what anyone tells you (like don't use "I", try to have good form, don't mix metaphors) or this travesty: https://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Poet

I mean I get it, great place to start, good advice, but screw that.

I don't know a lot. I really don't. I don't know about who 'I am' or what it takes to be something else. 

But I'll tell you something that a couple of hundred times on stage has taught me. A couple of hundred poems and a hell of a lot of tears and anguish and laughter and hope and frustration, altogether on a page.

We aren't that different. People. Everything tells us we are. It's all over the news nowadays.

But we aren't goddammit. We're family we don't even know yet. And when you write something real, something true- because that's my only real rule: be honest and write something true, even if you have to lie to do so- then somebody somewhere, and if you're lucky, someone in the same room will get hit right in the heart. Right in the gut.

It'll cut through all the lies and bullshit and doubt and for one beautiful moment the world might make a whit more sense. Or that thing that happened to you will suddenly have words to describe it. Or you'll understand someone in a way you never could before. Or most importantly, you'll know with utter certainty that you aren't alone. 

I'll take a high school kid pouring their heart out using borrowed words than the writer whose just stretching some literary muscles. I mean that's great too- and it might read a lot better and deeper or what the fuck ever, but the first one is balls to the wall truth.

How often does that happen? How often does another person really get to say something about who they are?

You can take:

"I'm so down today."

and keep going.

Or 

"I love him."

And keep going.

Or

"I just don't know." 

And elaborate without rules and limits except the ones you've been taught or lied to or imitating. It's your song buddy. And I guarantee that a whole fucking island of people, a whole fucking mountain of people are out there right now and they'll get it, they'll get it deep in their bones. If you're really lucky they'll be in the same room. But even if they aren't, I promise they exist. And that should be reason enough for you to write.

A poet is someone who dares to write poetry. More importantly, a poet is someone who continues to write poetry in spite of all the obstacles and doubt.

Write one today, whoever the hell is reading this.

Throw the rules out.

If you'll always be understood, then you're free to write without fear of 'quality'.

So I'm giving you permission, you are free to. 

Trust me, I'm a poet.

And If you made it this far and want to watch a self-professed poet in action, come along tomorrow to my reading- the 8th of November at Tai Kwun, at 6pm Hong Kong time. It's a free event where I'll be spouting poetry for 20 ish minutes. It's called Poetry in the the prison yard.

If not, no worries- I'll be live streaming it on Facebook.

Otherwise I’m spending most of the week meeting some of my generous readers for feedback. It’ll be the last batch of them. I'll be posting more about the editing process- but also more about poetry in the coming weeks, and hopefully I'll have some more performances or content to throw up as well.

Write on.