Step 32: Practice healthy writing habits
Today I reviewed my posts, as well as my writing in general, not just in terms of the novels, but in terms of my worth as a human being. There is no need to comment, you are very welcome for the unique content of today's post. I'm sure no one else who has ever started a blog, or posted their work online, or done any creative work whatsoever has ever felt similarly.
I have swiftly and objectively come to the conclusion that all of it is awful. I know because I started reading a novel, as well as another book called The Elements Of Style. Which is about grammar, and think I put my clauses in the wrong place. I don't even know what they're called, the different clauses, but they read better than mine. Which is not good obviously.
But I take comfort in the fact that few people reading my writing. Without more feedback I can imagine that the writing is of sufficient quality that no one criticises it, instead nodding to themselves contentedly before moving on to the next post, which they binge in one day upon first discovering my unique, insightful voice.
Luckily, I'm really good at staying positive, which is why I put up motivational pictures all the time. I've also decided that the best thing to do is to stop reading books. I'll only have to compare my writing to the sites I go to, which are mostly click baity listsicles. By keeping the bar low, I feel less pressure to produce, whilst still maintaining the illusion of quality in comparison to the listicles. After some introspection, I have realised that I like putting my thought processes out here, online, because writing for other people is really hard , and editing what I say, instead of writing what first comes into my head, and I can always say that it means I'm really honest.
Often, I have to try extra hard to get the grammar and punctuation right the first time. It's a good skill to learn. This is because the next day I won't have to reread what I wrote the day before, to check for mistakes because otherwise, I'd notice how the content was not as good as it sounded at the exact moment that I put it onto the page without any further editing. Avoiding that regret is really useful, as otherwise I tend to edit in slow motion over the course of the next few days, purely in my head, and notice that most of what I've written could really do with being removed from the internet for the sake of not embarrassing myself any further in front of my peers. But then I try to remind myself that not many people read what I write, which is a relief. Sometimes I even entertain the possibility that everyone is also comparing themselves to everyone else online, and I imagine that we're all becoming both vainer and more insecure by degrees, so really, I am not alone at all, and as long as I am honest and try to maintain a universal appeal, I should be able to sleep.
Therefore to maintain universal appeal, I have decided to separate out my audience into different segments and writing content that every single segment at the same time.
1. The people that prefer to remind themselves that they are better than me, by noticing how bad my content is. These people can take solace in the fact that I have written yet another post, and can briefly glance at the first few words before scrolling away. This removes the pressure to have really good opening sentences.
2. The people that feel obligated to read what I have written, because they are really nice, and know that in reality, I am insecure. I try to make sure every post has some kind of vague message or attempt at being funny and entertaining, so that my well-meaning friends can say something like "I really liked that last post, it was really funny." By default, and then we can both feel better about ourselves.
3. People who feel worse about themselves, because of some delusion based on their insecurities, furthered by social media in general, that I for some reason am smarter, better off, more interesting, or happier than them. I make sure to post every day so that they will be incentivised to block me from their feeds as quickly as possible.
4. The people outside of my imaginary insecurities. Since I cannot comprehend what those people are like. I don't actually have any way of appealing to them.
The good thing about that though is that as long as I write long enough posts, fewer people will get to the end of the posts, which means it's a lot less pressure to write well, the more I write, whilst still having a significant amount of text on the page, so that when I blur my eyes and take in the number of words it looks like I've accomplished something.
On a final note, I've realised that if I can believe that being positive and encouraging is enough to deny the detailed, constructive criticisms of people who are more qualified than me, I can get away with posting pretty much whatever I want, because any negative comments will only reinforce the idea that I need to be more positive, which would not happen if people were mostly encouraging, which they usually are, but I think it's better to only remember any comments that come across as ambiguous, which I am naturally talented at selectively remembering, so that way I can err on the side of interpreting them as an assault on my character and values.
I hope this helps anyone else who is also thinking of putting more of their lives and ideas online, and wishes to emulate my success.